![]() If we had not beaten them in October, they would be Thought of the evening, I take solace in the fact that Remarks about their parentage, but I am too drunk toįorm complete sentences. I pick up the empty Traveler bottle and stickĦ:16 Nebraska fans are going berserk as I walk back "Nebraska" spelled out in their end zone. Sh!t all over the letters "S", "K", and "A" in the To the tunnel and Bevo stopped to take a gargantuan The largest (by far) cheer of the day from the Texasįaithful occurred when the handlers were walking back My coma, "Iz we winnig? Did wez scort?" Alas, theĪnswer is no, we were not winning and we did not All of a sudden, the Texas crowd goesĪbsolutely nuts. I ask loudly: "Why the f()*ĭidn't you announce last call over the effing PAĥ:49 Back in my seats, I am slumped in my chair inĭefeat. There is less than 10 minutes on the game clock. As it turns out, theĪlamodome has a policy that no beer can be sold when Those tickets have been confirmed and areĥ:37 I try to start a fight with every person behind This normally would trouble me, but Iĥ:27 I call Southwest Airlines: "I'm sorry, sir. I purchase two more $5 beersĥ:18 Score is Nebraska 22, Texas 0. The girls sitting behind me haveįled for their lives. Nebraska is a bunch ofĤ:51 No more vodka. Purchase $5 Sprites, so that we may consume their I share my beer with two high school girls I wish IĤ:11 While urinating next to a Nebraska fan in theīathroom at halftime, I attempt to revive the classicīrice-ism from the South Bend bathroom: "Hey, buddy,Ĥ:21 I buy my 2nd and 3rd $5 beer from the Alamodome Line, a center snap nearly decapitates Majorģ:56 Halftime score: Nebraska 15, Texas 0. I buy my first $5 beerįrom the Alamodome merchants. I pour another stiffy fromģ:36 Four minutes to go in the first half: the Nebraska is very pissed off atģ:01 The first quarter mercifully ends. ![]() Brimming with confidence, I open theĢ:45 I notice something troubling: Nebraska is big. I distribute the 11īeers in my pants to the cheering masses. Triumph to the cheers of hundreds of Texas fans. Non-refundable, non-transferrable sons-of-b!tches!" Plane reservations to Phoenix for the Fiesta Bowl.Īnd then I spoke these memorable words: "And notĭamn refundable tickets, either! You request those Should "flop out" his cell phone RIGHT NOW and make ![]() Jacka$$ that if he's so confident in his team, he To play what I now call and will forever be rememberedĪs "Cell-Phone Flop Out." Remember flop out for aĭollar? The rules are similar. Iĭecide to challenge a particularly vocal Nebraska fan That we are going to kick the s*(& out of Nebraska. Managing to stuff the "Traveler" and 11 cans of beerġ:47 I am in line surrounded by Nebraska fans. Spirit and verve, we remain convinced that we areġ:30 I begin the walk to the Alamodome, somehow To serenade us, this time, however, with the Nebraskaįight songs. Again, we hoot and holler like wildmen.Īgain, the band doubles back and stops right below us That we are going to kick the *(&^ out of Nebraska.ġ:00 The Nebraska band walks by on the way to theĪlamodome. Men are bumping chests with one another, each andĮvery one of them now secure and certain of the fact Serenades us with Texas Fight and The Eyes of Texas.ġ2:25 In the post-serenade serendipity, 50-100 grown The bandĭoubles back to the street right below us and We're hooting and hollering like wildmen. Parking garage on the corner (a couple hundred of us). About 70 degrees.ġ1:55 I decide that we're going to kick the sh!t outġ1:56 I tell my first Nebraska fan to go f(*&ġ2:15 The UT band walks by on the way to theĪlamodome. Definitely hilarious though.Ħ:00 Arise, play the Eyes of Texas and Texas Fight atħ:30 Tee off (me and a buddy were the FIRST tee-timeġ0:30 Finish 18 (holes, as well as beers), signġ0:50 Buy three 18-packs for pre- and post-gameġ1:10 We decide we don't have enough booze, so weĭouble-back to a liquor store and buy the good ol' 750ġ1:50 Arrive at the tailgate spot. Absolutely HILARIOUS, but I'll give the PARENTAL ADVISORY WARNING so none of the young ones read and to warn you if you're easily offended. A friend sent me this on the 10 year anniversary of the first Texas-Nebraska Big 12 title game.
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